LIVING happily ever after is more a mastery of certain skills than a mystery. Although married life will always have its difficulties, you will steadily and dramatically improve your relationship by deliberately working on it, according each other some measure of respect and prioritizing the aspects that are significant.
Granted, good communication, friendship, trust, and finances are some
of the important aspects of marriage; sex remains even more vital and
significant. However, many are yet to understand that its role does not
end in fun and reproduction, it further binds and cements marriage
No matter how well you have succeeded in managing all the other
aspects, a rut in the sex department ruins all your effort and spells
doom for the marriage. Couples who enjoy fabulous sex lives with their
partners live more radiant, happy and balanced lives than others who are
having issues with sex.
How do they manage to keep it hot, especially with kids, work, age
and all the stressors? Simple! They have known its importance to their
happiness and the survival of their marriage, broached the subject and
worked out ways to both have their cake and eat it. While some couples
are simply existing with no excitement and no fun, sexually satisfied
couples are always happy and fulfilled.
Well, you don’t have to scratch your head thinking of what to do. For
your sake, we have asked a few of such lucky people for their secrets
to a sizzling sex life and here’s what they had to say.
We avoid or reject excuses.
While many are still battling with fake headaches and other excuses
to avoid romping, how wonderful it is to know that some couples have
made a promise to each other to avoid excuses. “Many of the excuses
other couples use to avoid sex––like headaches, stress, tiredness or
arguments––are some of the exact same reasons we choose to make sex a
priority,” Lou who has been married for 11 years said. “Sex relieves
pain, reduces stress, promotes better sleep and motivates us to settle
our disagreements quickly. We promised each other not to let anything
come between us and our sexual lives.”
We trust each other.
“Great sex is a reflection of the overall rapport and communication
you have in other areas of your relationship. To have it, you have to
trust your spouse. You have to always try to build each other up outside
the bedroom. If you say or do something critical or disrespectful to
your partner during the day, why would he/she want to be naked and try
something new with you later that evening?” Jenifer who was quick to
confirm her adventurous sex life with her husband noted. “For a sizzling
and adventurous sex in marriage to exist, it has to be preceded by
trust. Trust, comfort and ease with each other happens when you engage
in active communication and listening. You have to work on listening to
your partner in an active, empathetic way and reciprocate by confiding
in him/her, and baring your own feelings,” she said. “Once you two feel
like allies—not adversaries—your sex life will feel more honest and,
hopefully, a lot hotter! That’s my secret,” she concluded.
We try to satisfy each other
“As an expert in the game, experience has taught me that when you
always satisfy your woman sexually, she will keep asking for more,” Dan,
happily married for about 15 years explained. “Same goes for her, she
tries to make me happy so I’ll give her the best. So for us, it’s give
and take. However, even in other areas of life, we try to make each
other happy because we have known that it is only a happy person that
would want to play. For us, sex is play, not duty and it has been fun
all the way.”
We schedule sex.
“It may sound unromantic but yes, we do it and to us, it’s very
romantic.” Janet married for 21 years declared. “We have been married
for ages and some times, we don’t even need the calendar anymore – we
know the days. Rather than killing the mood with a lack of spontaneity,
scheduling sex tends to take away all the very real excuses we could
otherwise use. Yes, because it is an agreement and you have to include
it in your to do list.” she clarified.